Чак Норрис
2025-02-13 12:35![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vakЛента забита антитрамповскими страданиями, но это преходящее. Вернёмся к вечному.
Мне в руки попала детская книжка с шутками про Чака Норриса. В прошлом году её перевод стал самой продаваемой книгой Эстонии. Приобщимся же и мы. Вот несколько перлов оттуда.
Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey, he chews bees.
The flu needs a Chuck Norris shot once a year.
Chuck Norris e-mail address: gmail@chucknorris.com.
How did the dinosaurs become extinct? They made fun of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can tell the difference between nuclear and green electricity - by taste.
Chuck Norris is the only person who can really kill time.
Chuck Norris' car doesn't need gasoline, it drives out of respect.
When Chuck Norris is caught fare evasion, the conductor pays the fine.
When Chuck Norris looks at the sky, the clouds start to sweat. This phenomenon was called rain.
When Lord Voldemort talks about Chuck Norris, he says "you know who."
Chuck Norris has been to Mars. That's the reason why there is no life there anymore.
Chuck Norris was once insulted in Latin - since then it is considered a dead language.
Chuck Norris was stopped by the police the other day. The cops got off with a warning.
Chuck Norris knows a way that doesn't lead to Rome.
When Chuck Norris divides, there is no remainder.
When monsters go to bed, they look beforehand to see if Chuck Norris is under the bed.
God said, "Let there be light!" Chuck Norris replied, "Say please!"
Chuck Norris once got lost in the woods. No one has ever seen the forest again.
Chuck Norris and God once had a fistfight. Have you ever seen God?
Chuck Norris once had a race against time. Time is still running.
Chuck Norris doesn't turn on the lights, he turns off the dark.
Chuck Norris goes to Apple and buys fruit.
Chuck Norris was in all the Star Wars movies - he played the Force.
Switzerland is neutral because they don't know which side Chuck Norris is on.
Chuck Norris built a door into the sound barrier so he wouldn't always have to break into it.
Мне в руки попала детская книжка с шутками про Чака Норриса. В прошлом году её перевод стал самой продаваемой книгой Эстонии. Приобщимся же и мы. Вот несколько перлов оттуда.
Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey, he chews bees.
The flu needs a Chuck Norris shot once a year.
Chuck Norris e-mail address: gmail@chucknorris.com.
How did the dinosaurs become extinct? They made fun of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can tell the difference between nuclear and green electricity - by taste.
Chuck Norris is the only person who can really kill time.
Chuck Norris' car doesn't need gasoline, it drives out of respect.
When Chuck Norris is caught fare evasion, the conductor pays the fine.
When Chuck Norris looks at the sky, the clouds start to sweat. This phenomenon was called rain.
When Lord Voldemort talks about Chuck Norris, he says "you know who."
Chuck Norris has been to Mars. That's the reason why there is no life there anymore.
Chuck Norris was once insulted in Latin - since then it is considered a dead language.
Chuck Norris was stopped by the police the other day. The cops got off with a warning.
Chuck Norris knows a way that doesn't lead to Rome.
When Chuck Norris divides, there is no remainder.
When monsters go to bed, they look beforehand to see if Chuck Norris is under the bed.
God said, "Let there be light!" Chuck Norris replied, "Say please!"
Chuck Norris once got lost in the woods. No one has ever seen the forest again.
Chuck Norris and God once had a fistfight. Have you ever seen God?
Chuck Norris once had a race against time. Time is still running.
Chuck Norris doesn't turn on the lights, he turns off the dark.
Chuck Norris goes to Apple and buys fruit.
Chuck Norris was in all the Star Wars movies - he played the Force.
Switzerland is neutral because they don't know which side Chuck Norris is on.
Chuck Norris built a door into the sound barrier so he wouldn't always have to break into it.
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Date: 2025-02-13 21:01 (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2025-02-14 14:18 (UTC)