vak: (Default)
[personal profile] vak
(другие части: 1 2 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11)

Часть 3. Корабль "Золотое Сердце", включаем Движок Невероятности с заменителем чая

Из космоса вас подбирает корабль под названием "Heart of Gold", который становится вашей базой на время игры. Точнее, базой будет капитанская рубка, где можно будет складывать добытые артефакты. Оттуда же вы будете отправляться в другие реальности, нажав кнопку Движка Невероятности. Но сначала движок требуется включить, добыв для этого плоттер и суррогат чая. Свисающий проводок от плоттера надо окунуть в чай, иначе качественная невероятность не образуется по какой-то причине. 

Настоящего чая на борту нет: откуда бы ему взяться в галактике. К счастью, бортовая кофе-машина умеет синтезировать суррогат чая. На суррогате движок заведётся неполноценно. Доступны будут только четыре из шести нужных нам мест назначения. Ну что делать, придётся добывать реальный чай по ходу действия.

Итак, поехали:
...Precisely twenty-nine seconds later, you and Ford are scooped up by a passing ship. Gasping for air, you pass out...

Dark

>wait

You can't hear anything, see anything, smell anything, feel anything, or taste anything, and do not even know where you are or who you are or how you got there.

>wait

You can't hear anything, see anything, smell anything, feel anything, or taste anything, and do not even know where you are or who you are or how you got there.

>wait

You can hear nothing, smell nothing, taste nothing, see nothing, feel nothing, and are not even certain who you are.

>wait

You can't see anything, smell anything, feel anything, or taste anything, and do not even know where you are or who you are or how you got there.

>hear

(darkness)
You hear the deep and distant hum of a star drive coming from far above. There is an exit to port.

>aft

(We were lying about the exit to port.) You emerge from a small doorway...

Entry Bay Number Two
This is an entry bay for the Heart of Gold. A corridor lies aft of here.
There is a sales brochure here.

"This looks like that incredible new Infinite Improbability Drive spaceship, the Heart of Gold!" says Ford, with growing excitement.

"Announcement, announcement. This is Eddie (the shipboard computer). We have just picked up two hitchhikers at an improbability factor of 2 to the 21,914th power to 1 against."

>wait

Time passes...

"Come on, let's look for the Bridge." You follow Ford, and eventually come to the...

Bridge
This is the bridge of the Heart of Gold. A gangway leads down, and steam comes from an entrance to port. Next to the control console is Eddie (the shipboard computer).

At the controls, apparently expecting you and Ford, are a man with more than the usual number of heads (the name "Zaphod" is stitched on his shirt) and a dark-haired woman, holding a handbag. Both seem somehow familiar.
There is a molecular hyperwave pincer here.

>wait

Time passes...

"Hey, Zaphod, how ya doing?" says Ford. He's cool. "Not bad, Ford. Great to see you," replies Zaphod. He's cooler. You suddenly realise that the woman is Tricia MacMillan ("Call me Trillian"), whom you were trying to pick up at a party in Islington just a few weeks ago, and that Zaphod is the guy she eventually left the party with! Odd.

>wait

Time passes...

"Like my spaceship, Ford?" Zaphod asks. "YOUR spaceship?" says Ford, losing his cool for a second. "Yeah, I stole it," Zaphod admits. "I'm gonna use it to find the legendary lost planet of Magrathea. Let's go sit in the sauna while I explain." Zaphod, Ford, and Trillian all head off to port.

>drop all

atomic vector plotter: Dropped.
thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is: It falls to the ground with a light "thunk." It doesn't do anything else at all.
your gown: Dropped.
towel: Dropped.
babel fish: You'll have to remove it first.
The Hitchhiker's Guide: Dropped.
electronic Sub-Etha signaling device: Dropped.
toothbrush: Dropped.
flathead screwdriver: Dropped.

>get towel

Taken.

>get gown

Taken.

>down

Corridor, Fore End
This is one end of a short corridor that continues aft along the main deck of the Heart of Gold. Doorways lead to fore and port. In addition, a gangway leads upward.

>aft

Corridor, Aft End
This is one end of a short corridor that continues fore along the main deck of the Heart of Gold. Doorways lead to aft and port. In addition, a gangway leads downward.

>aft

That entrance leads to the Infinite Improbability Drive chamber. It's supposed to be a terribly dangerous area of the ship. Are you sure you want to go in there?

>aft

Absolutely sure?

>aft

I can tell you don't want to really. You stride away with a spring in your step, wisely leaving the Drive Chamber safely behind you. Telegrams arrive from well-wishers in all corners of the Galaxy congratulating you on your prudence and wisdom, cheering you up immensely.

>aft

What? You're joking, of course. Can I ask you to reconsider?

>aft

Engine Room
You're in the Infinite Improbability Drive chamber. Nothing happens; there is nothing to see.

>look

Engine Room
I mean it! There's nothing to see here!

>look

Engine Room
Okay, okay, there are a FEW things to see here. This is the room that houses the powerful Infinite Improbability Generator that drives the Heart of Gold. An exit lies fore of here.
Sitting in the corner is a spare, portable Improbability Generator.
There is an ionic diffusion rasp here.
There is a pair of hypersonic pliers here.

(Footnote 10)

>get rasp

Taken.

>get pliers

Taken.

>get drive

Taken.

>fore

Corridor, Aft End

>fore

Corridor, Fore End

>up

Bridge
There is a flathead screwdriver here.
There is a toothbrush here.
There is an electronic Sub-Etha signaling device here.
There is a copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy here.
Lying on the deck is a plotter.
There is a satchel here.
There is a handbag here.
There is a molecular hyperwave pincer here.

>drop rasp

Dropped.

>drop pliers

Dropped.

>drop drive

Dropped.

You feel a wave of depression sweep over you, and you turn to see that Marvin the robot has stalked miserably into the room.

>drop fluff

Dropped.

Marvin wanders off.

>down

Corridor, Fore End
Marvin, the Paranoid Android, is here.

Marvin wanders off.

>port

Galley
You are in the Galley area of the ship, containing a machine which is the state of the art in Nutritional Technology, a Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Nutrimat.
There is an exit to starboard.
A carton labelled "Nutrimat/Computer Interface" is sitting here.

>press pad

The Nutrimat makes an instant but highly detailed examination of your taste buds, a spectroscopic analysis of your metabolism and sends tiny experimental signals down your neural pathways to see what you like.
A cupful of Advanced Tea Substitute appears in the dispensing slot.

>get tea substitue

Taken.

>open carton

Opening the shipping carton reveals a strange gun.

>get strange gun

Taken.

>starboard

Corridor, Fore End

>up

Bridge
There is pocket fluff here.
There is a spare Improbability Drive here.
There is a pair of hypersonic pliers here.
There is an ionic diffusion rasp here.
There is a flathead screwdriver here.
There is a toothbrush here.
There is an electronic Sub-Etha signaling device here.
There is a copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy here.
Lying on the deck is a plotter.
There is a satchel here.
There is a handbag here.
There is a molecular hyperwave pincer here.

>drop tea substitue

Dropped.

>drop strange gun

Dropped.

>put dangly bit in tea substitue

Done.

>connect small plug to vector plotter

Plugged.

>press switch

Like fog rolling in off the ocean, a shroud of blackness billows toward you. Unlike fog rolling in off the ocean, the blackness hits you like a sixteen-tonne truck...

Dark




Постскриптум от автора (перевод мой - [personal profile] vak).
Общеизвестно, конечно, что неосторожные разговоры могут стоить жизни, но не всегда оценивается весь масштаб проблемы. Например, в тот самый момент, когда вы сказали «put dangly bit in tea», в ткани пространственно-временного континуума открылся причудливый туннель и перенес ваши слова далеко назад во времени через почти бесконечные просторы космоса в далекую галактику, где странные и воинственные существа стояли на пороге ужасной межзвездной битвы.

Два противоборствующих лидера встретились в последний раз. Гнетущая тишина воцарилась за столом переговоров, когда командир Вл'Хургов, великолепный в своих черных, украшенных драгоценными камнями боевых шортах, суровым взглядом смотрел на предводителя Г'Гугвантов, сидевшего напротив него в облаке зеленого душистого пара. Когда миллион чотких и вооруженных до зубов звездных крейсеров были готовы обрушить электрическую смерть по одному его слову, Вл'Хург бросил вызов своему мерзкому врагу, чтобы вернуть то, что он сказал о его матери.

Существо зашевелилось в своем тошнотворно-кипящем паре, и в этот самый момент по столу для совещаний проплыли слова «put dangly bit in tea». К сожалению, на языке вл'хургов это переводилось как «сунь х%й в чай» - самое ужасное оскорбление, какое только можно вообразить, и ничего другого не оставалось, как вести жестокую войну веками. В конце концов ошибка была обнаружена, но более двухсот пятидесяти тысяч миров, их народов и культур погибли в смертоубийстве.

Вы уничтожили огромную часть маленькой галактики. Пожалуйста, подбирайте слова осторожнее.

Date: 2023-07-28 23:44 (UTC)
juan_gandhi: (Default)
From: [personal profile] juan_gandhi

Эко какие там чудеса в этой вселенной происходят.

Date: 2023-07-29 22:09 (UTC)
dmarck: (Default)
From: [personal profile] dmarck
книжка, как и многое из достатошно значимой литературы, содержит горищу отсылок к тому, про что мы не то что не подозревали -- оно просто "в иной концепции сознания"

ну, собственно, что Адамс, что Гибсон -- они, на мой взгляд, именно про это

Date: 2023-07-30 03:17 (UTC)
last_least: (Default)
From: [personal profile] last_least
Это откуда такой перевод?